#XMAS JAMMIES Is Literally Too Hot To Touch Right Now

Part of me wants to hate this living shit out of these people for making me watch 3:38 of ridiculousness.  So much selfish promotion I can’t handle it.  A part in Iron Man, check.  I work for a news station but am quitting, check.  My daughter is a genius already, check.  My son is in hip hop class dance class and he can barely walk, check.  Hell they even pump their own website at the end.  But you know what, I love this so much.  Just throwing it in everyone’s face how BAWSE you are is exactly how you become a BAWSE.  You don’t just wake up, put a smile on your face and instantly start running things; you need to let the world know just how your about to blow its mind and then back that shit up.

Hate all you want, but I’d take a stay at home job where I just focused on making viral videos.  Pretty much the greatest job ever.

P.S. If Penn Charles is your name, you’re pretty much guaranteed to be hated by all men but loved by all women.  Exactly where you want to be.