Cristiano Ronaldo Has Created His Own Social Media Network

Via YahooCristiano Ronaldo recently announced plans to open a museum dedicated to himself in his hometown. “That’s great!” you say, while wearing nothing but Cristiano Ronaldo brand underpants. “But what am I supposed to do when the museum is closed or when they kick me out for trying to live inside the exhibits?” Well, you’re in luck, because now Ronaldo has launched his own social network to ensure his fans can obsess over him to an all-consuming degree.

From a business perspective, his own social network was a logical step. Ronaldo is, after all, the most popular athlete on both Facebook and Twitter by a wide margin with more than 90 million combined fans/followers. The network — appropriately called Viva Ronaldo (just no one tell Brazilian Ronaldo) — is comprised of a website and a mobile app, which features a variety of Ronaldo themed activities.


Last week he opened a museum dedicated to himself in his home town.  This week, a social media network so all of his fans can follow his every move and play games and challenges centered around Ronaldo.  What the hell is going to come out with next week, fucking clones of himself?  I mean it’s one thing to be self-centered, it’s another thing to give a big f-you to the rest of the world.  And let’s be clear, I think it’s a straight up BAWSE move.  Look, when you’re one of the most popular people on the planet, you capitalize on your popularity not matter how, no matter what.  You just go ham as long as humanly possible.  Hell, for a team to buy him out and try to sign him away from Real Madrid, it would cost his new team $1 BILLION EUROS just to negotiate with him. That’s insane on top of insane.

So yeah, Ronaldo, go ahead and do whatever the fuck you want.  You’ve earned it.